This is quite a hard post to write and perhaps the most personal I have written on the blog and hopefully will have to write.
This may explain some of my vague replies to 'How are you?' on Twitter by many lovely people and some of my recent tweets about how crap and hard life can be sometimes. This also partly explains the decline in posting in the last few weeks, which is coupled with exam stress/coursework stress/revision stress at college.
So here goes.
Since January, my family have been supporting my grandmother who was diagnosed as terminally ill with cancer since last summer. It's something I never thought would happen, I always thought she would get over it, she would live many more years, see me start and leave university, perhaps get married - I didn't know what to think really.
I'm sure many of you have known at least one person in your life that's been affected my cancer. It's an awful, terrifying thing and something that I can't dwell on for too long without feeling fearful for my own life. But the main part is that unless you experience the fight with cancer, either directly or through a close one, it's hard to illustrate or fathom the effects of it.
Anyway, I'm going off topic. My grandmother has been declining over the last few months but took a turn for the worse last week. And then finally, on Monday evening, she passed away. I have mixed emotions. Of course, I'm incredibly upset but also I am glad that she has both joined my grandfather who died a couple of years ago and also that she is not suffering anymore from the pain and everything. It's something I know she would have been glad to happen for those reasons.
I still can't quite get my head around the whole thing, can't quite imagine her not being there, not sending her a birthday card, a Christmas card, a Mother's Day card - it's something I've done for 18 years.
With this happening and effecting me, as well as the increasing stress of exams in FIVE WEEKS, I've decided to temporarily stop blogging for the next few months until June really. Blogging was always a side thing from my college and paid work and I think those two aspects of my life are enough to deal with right now especially as this year I HAVE to get into university and work harder for Media, the course I want to study, because my teacher is not...well, not the best teacher I've ever come across. I need to get a B at least in this exam and I'm not sure at the moment if I'll get that.
I'll definitely be reading so when I come back you'll have a magnitude of reviews thrown at you and you never know, I may still post the occasional review in the next few weeks, although nothing is planned yet. I just think blogging is starting to distract me from the important things in life - my work and my family.
I'll also still be around, checking and commenting on blogs and you can always find my on Twitter @rebeccabooks. The beauty of an iPhone is when I'm travelling or not doing anything or want a break from revision I have a little lookie on Twitter or play a game so I'll always see your tweets.
Good luck to all those who have exams in the next few months, I sincerely hope they go well. I hope all my loyal followers and friends understand my decision. This isn't forever. I WILL be back, just taking a break so I can come back better than before.